Teacher Sings Testing Parody to the Tune of “MaCavity” from Andrew Lloyd Weber’s Musical “Cats”

It is amazing how creative a teacher can be while passing time giving standardized tests. All that standing in silence, hour after hour, day after day, in a classroom full of testing teens, can really get the creative juices flowing. After all, during state testing, teachers are locked down right along with the kids.

Here is the product of one teacher’s enraged captivity.

She writes: “Today as we took a prep test for ISTEP, I wrote a little song…to the tune of “MaCavity” from Andrew Lloyd Weber’s musical “Cats”. It’s called ACUITY….”

Acuity’s a test we take
In middle school times three
The data’s used for lesson plans
But scores don’t affect me.
(restart melody)

It takes a week from teaching kids
The kids, they bitch and moan
Technology won’t work today
And reading is a groan
Who makes this test,
Are they insane?
Do they have half a brain?
The public wonders why our youth
Is going down the drain!
It doesn’t matter what they know
Assessing no one’s brain.
Preparing them for life, it don’t,
All testing is so lame!

Acuity’s a pointless test
It’s called the suck of time.
It takes too long, we lose a week;
This should be called a crime!

The reading’s long, can’t find their pins
Excruciating days

Computers froze, long-winded prose
It don’t affect my raise

They Christmas tree , disrupt and plea
And drive me quite crazy

And when you think it’s time to end,
They add the writing phase!

Acuity, Acuity,
no matter how I whine,
The state don’t know, the state don’t care
We’re squandering our time.
The clock it ticks
Severely slow
I swear the hand is stuck.
The Grapes of wrath
For eight grade math?
That takes a lot of pluck.
The kids don’t try
I ain’t gone lie
I wish I gave a duck.
And though we know it won’t be used
The state won’t give it up!